me holding a gun to a mushroom: tell me the name of god you fungal piece of shit
mushroom: can you feel your heart burning? can you feel the struggle within? the fear within me is beyond anything your soul can make. you cannot kill me in a way that matters
me cocking the gun, tears streaming down my face: I’M NOT FUCKING SCARED OF YOU
Hey OP? What the FUCK does this mean?
decay exists as an extant form of life
That’s a terrifying answer, have a nice day
One of the best letters I’ve ever seen just popped up on my Facebook memories. Still makes me laugh.
As today is the 50th anniversary of the moon landing, it’s a great time to revisit Dinah from Devon’s memory of this historic event. And yes, still makes me laugh.
Today is the 54th anniversary of the moon landing, but Dinah’s diary entry is still absolutely magnificent.
also according to michael collins when the three of them were discussing what neil armstrong should say when he first stepped on the moon, collins suggested armstrong say “Oh, my God, what is that thing?” and then scream and cut out his mic.
Everyone forgets Michael Collins and it’s fucking tragic.
Eleanor: If Eleanor came to Transylvania on a business trip it was definitely a scam on her part to begin with, so her mental transition would be going from “I am scamming this rich old guy” to “Maybe this rich old guy is scamming me?” She’d figure it out, but the question is whether she’d do so before throwing herself headlong into seduction by the vampire brides.
Chidi: On the one hand, Chidi would be desperately trying not to judge Dracula for different cultural customs and be polite to the point of endangering himself. On the other hand, William Jackson Harper said Chidi would have survived Midsommar because he would have bolted the second things started to get weird, so by that logic he might have just frozen in place when the villagers warned him about the castle, panicked about whether it was worse to break his business promises or offend their cultural customs, and not gotten on the carriage.
Tahani: Tahani wants to make a good impression on aristocracy. Tahani is doomed.
Jason: I actually think Jason would figure out that Dracula was bad news pretty quickly, just not necessarily that he was a vampire. He’d start by going everywhere he wasn’t supposed to, learn this dude is some kind of serial killer kingpin, and then when Dracula says “You can go but there are wolves outside!” Jason would say “Sweet, bro!” and go out and get eaten by wolves.
after inputting some complex algorithms into my super computer i’ve determined what tumblr will look like in the year 2020
i love how this comes back after every shitty update staff makes
